Have you ever finally created some space in your schedule—cutting back hours, taking time off, setting boundaries—only to find yourself more uncomfortable than relaxed?
You imagined freedom. You dreamed of long walks, midday yoga, catching up on books, or just being. But when the time came, guilt snuck in. That nagging voice in your head whispering:
“Shouldn’t you be doing something?”
“Everyone else is working—why aren’t you?”
“You’re wasting time.”
You are not alone.
I hear this constantly from clients—especially women—who’ve worked hard to create space in their lives only to discover that rest doesn’t feel like relief. It feels like failure.
They go part-time, switch to an in-house role, or finally take the sabbatical they’ve been craving—expecting to feel peace, freedom, maybe even joy.
But instead?
They feel uneasy. On edge. Restless.
They say things like, “I thought this would feel better.”
Or, “I’m still exhausted, but I feel guilty just sitting here.”
Here’s what I want you to know:
The problem isn’t that you’re resting wrong.
The problem is that rest bumps up against old beliefs—deep ones.
Beliefs like:
- “My worth is tied to what I produce.”
- “Other people’s needs matter more than mine.”
- “If I stop, I’ll fall behind.”
These beliefs don’t disappear when your calendar clears.
In fact, space amplifies them.
And so, we fill the space again—not out of desire, but out of guilt.
I see this pattern all the time: women who have technically slowed down, but emotionally and energetically? They’re still in fifth gear.
They overwork on their “off” days.
They sign up for new projects even though they promised themselves margin.
They clean the kitchen instead of taking the nap they’ve earned.
Not because they want to.
But because slowing down doesn’t feel safe.
Because in the stillness, what rises to the surface isn’t peace.
It’s the inner critic.
The conditioning.
The voice that says, “You’re not doing enough.”
And so we get back to work—not because we’re inspired, but because it helps us avoid the discomfort of being alone with those thoughts.
But here’s the truth:
You don’t need to fix how you rest.
You need to heal the story that says you only matter when you’re doing.
And that kind of healing doesn’t come from more productivity.
It comes from learning to sit with the discomfort of being enough—just as you are.
It comes from noticing the guilt and choosing not to obey it.
It comes from practicing rest not as a reward, but as a right.
So if rest feels hard, you’re not broken.
You’re brave.
You’re learning to untangle your worth from your work.
And that’s one of the most radical things you can do.
This month, I’m sharing a few gentle practices to help you explore your relationship with rest and self-worth. I invite you to give them a try and notice what surfaces. If old patterns start to rise, know that you don’t have to work through them alone—I would love to coach you through this process.
You don’t need to deserve rest.
You don’t need to fill your time to prove your value.
The discomfort you feel isn’t failure—it’s growth.
You’re unlearning the myth that your worth is measured in output.
And that, my friend, is powerful, rebellious, beautiful work.
***
✍️ Journal Prompts: Exploring Guilt, Stillness & Self-Worth
Take 5–10 minutes with one of these prompts. Be honest, unfiltered, and curious:
- When I imagine doing “nothing,” I feel ______ because ______.
- I feel most guilty about resting when ______.
- Productivity makes me feel ______. Without it, I worry that I’m ______.
- What do I believe others would think of me if I slowed down?
- What would it look like to rest without earning it first?
🧘♀️ Try This: Scheduling Intentional Stillness
Start small. One block of time—maybe 30 minutes to an hour—per week. Put it on your calendar with a label like:
- “Unstructured Time”
- “Sanctuary Hour”
- “Rest, Without Rules”
- “Just Because I Can”
Here’s the rule: You don’t plan what you’ll do ahead of time. No pressure to check something off or be productive. You’re not forbidden from doing things—you’re just forbidden from deciding in advance what’s “worthy” of that time.
This is not lazy. It’s training your nervous system to tolerate ease.
✨ Take a Reset Moment
Need a moment to reset? My guided meditations on YouTube and short podcast episodes are always there to help you pause, breathe, and come back to yourself.
🌿 A Short Reflection Practice: “Permission to Pause”
Find a quiet space. Sit or lie down. Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
Take a slow breath in. Let your body fill.
Exhale gently. Let your shoulders drop.
Say (out loud or silently):
“I don’t have to earn this moment.
I am allowed to rest.
I am safe when I am still.
I am worthy, even when I am not doing.”
Stay here for 1–3 minutes. Notice any resistance—and let it be.
