Shame and Public Failures

It is not uncommon in coaching to work through big decisions One of the reasons some decisions seem so impossible is because there are some choices in life that feel like they put us on a stage for public shaming and ridicule. So how do we navigate the court of public opinion and make decisions when it feels terrifying?

I’m Running Out of Time

Recently, I have been inundated with clients overwhelmed with the idea that they are “running out of time” for one thing or another. While I fully understand the importance of setting goals and having something to work for, what does it mean when we say that we are running out of time? Does that fear drive us to soar even higher or are the results more nefarious?

Self Doubt

A common theme amongst we lady attorneys? The tendency to fail ahead of time. You know that feeling when everything seems to be going well on paper but you just. can’t. seem. to get excited and believe it’s going to work out? That feeling of constant dread and failure (before the ax has even dropped) is what we call failing ahead of time. Today we are going to explore this concept why it is critical to your success to stop this pattern.

How to Take the Leap

In my work as a coach, it is rare that a client isn’t stuck in some form of the IDK quagmire. They want more time or more balance, they want a new career, they want a different relationship with others, etc. but they JUST. DON’T. KNOW. HOW. to get there.

Saying “No”

Logically, most of us know that we should be saying “no” far more than we are. Most us want more time, more balance, and more space. We know that saying “no” is an obvious step in the direction of those goals. But why is saying “no” so hard and so painful? What is it about setting that boundary that makes us cringe?

Boundaries

Most of the attorneys that I work with do not believe that it is possible for them to create happiness within their current environment. They come to me unhappy and overworked. They believe that the only way things are going to get better is if the firm finally changes. Or if they leave. Part of the work that I do with my clients is helping them to start setting boundaries and flexing their “no” muscle. Today we explore why this so hard and why we MUST change.

Are You Living in Fight or Flight?

For many of us, when we are practicing and things get hairy, we unknowingly slip into survival mode and our days are spent living in fight or flight. We lose touch with our rational thinking and have a hard time seeing the forest for the trees. We are convinced that there are no solutions available to us and we just want to keep our heads above water. How to dig out of overwhelm and make better choices.

Perfectionist Tendencies

Many of my clients embrace perfectionism in one way or another. Outwardly, they appear successful and confident but their inner dialogues are filled with self-judgments and whole host of “shoulds” — things they should have done better, perfectly. As we unpack those patterns of negative self-talk and begin redirecting our brains to more worthy thoughts, it opens up yet another opportunity for self-judgment. How can we leverage failures to overcome our perfectionist tendencies?

Difficult Choices

In every moment, of every day, we are making decisions. We decide where to direct our attention, we decide when (if) we should take a break, we decide whether to answer phone calls or respond to emails. Most of us make those decisions automatically, without much thought. But what about the decisions that really FEEL like decisions? The types of decisions that keep you up at night with anxiety or rob your afternoon of several hours spent fretting over the options. When it comes to big decisions, what is the best approach?