This article explores the concept of people pleasing, its signs, reasons behind it, and how it can negatively impact your life. It also provides insights on how to overcome this behavior and prioritize your own needs.
Cutting People Out
We all have people in our lives who have challenged us but this particular exchange opened my eyes to some deeper work waiting for me to explore. What if cutting people out of our lives was the easy route? What if there was a better way (one that didn’t involve an epic showdown)?
Saying “No”
Logically, most of us know that we should be saying “no” far more than we are. Most us want more time, more balance, and more space. We know that saying “no” is an obvious step in the direction of those goals. But why is saying “no” so hard and so painful? What is it about setting that boundary that makes us cringe?
Finding Your Voice
As attorneys, we are hired to advocate and be the knowledge voices of our clients–why do we struggle to advocate for ourselves?
Finding Balance
Nearly every client I work with has a hard time disconnecting from work. Why is disconnection so hard?
Being Authentic
When I was in private practice, I had a client that called me all the time. Constantly. How I showed up in the relationship changed everything about how I set boundaries in my relationships, personally and professionally.
Boundaries
Most of the attorneys that I work with do not believe that it is possible for them to create happiness within their current environment. They come to me unhappy and overworked. They believe that the only way things are going to get better is if the firm finally changes. Or if they leave. Part of the work that I do with my clients is helping them to start setting boundaries and flexing their “no” muscle. Today we explore why this so hard and why we MUST change.
Being On Call 24/7
Every time we answer late night phone calls and emails, we are expressing our values not only to ourselves but those around us. In that expression, others will learn to anticipate where they fall on your hierarchy of values. If they are at the top, they will keep coming at you 24/7. How to deal.
“Yes” Women
Finding yourself overworked and overwhelmed? Saying “yes” when you want to scream “no”? Why do we do this to ourselves and how do we stop the madness?!
Over-Apologizers Anonymous
Over apologizing is often the easy route. It’s easier to take on all the blame than it is to stand up for yourself. It’s easier to believe that it was all your fault than to examine the things you did right. This victim mentality is pervasive and can seep into all aspects of your life if left unchecked.
So why do we over apologize?
