Life & Career Coaching for Lawyers
Life & Career Coaching for Lawyers
Humans are social animals. There is a part of us that is drawn to community. So when a seed is planted that we are not liked, it’s easy to become consumed with worries and fantasized arguments with others. Not only does this waste your energy in the moment, it’s typically unwarranted. When we get curious about our “I’m disliked” fantasies, we can uncover the root of the issue.
Whenever we find our lives dripping in dramatics and heightened emotions, we must consider: which role are we playing?
When our steps forward are harder than they should be and we find ourselves just forcing every action, we have to ask ourselves what is going on behind the scenes? Is there an opportunity to make peace and release some dead weight?
In a profession where the only feedback you typically get is negative feedback, how do you keep those experiences from making you paranoid?
When it comes to employee relations, law firms are among some of the worst employers. HR is typically impotent in addressing issues amongst attorneys so the rules of the game are largely left to the players. In lieu of actual feedback, it seems that most firms opt for obstinate silence and the good ‘ol freeze out in lieu of actually providing constructive feedback. How to deal?
The most common thing I see among associate attorneys is the fear of making mistakes.
As attorneys, we can become so paranoid about making a mistake that we put a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves. Our minds are filled with nonstop nasty chatter that sometimes sends us down a mistake spiral.
How to dig out.
Perfectionism is a way to stay stuck. To convince yourself that your efforts are noble. You simply want to do it right and you can’t move forward until you do that. It seems valid. It seems reasonable. But this is simply fear masquerading in a more “honorable” outfit. The fear of failure, dressed as perfectionism.
Becoming a lawyer is a huge accomplishment in itself. As female attorneys, we join the ranks of all those women who fought so hard to become a valued part of this profession — after all, we have only been doing this since 1923 when women were finally allowed to be admitted to the bar.
We’ve come a long way, baby, so why is it that we often struggle recognizing our own value?
We all have our baggage and ugly thoughts we carry around.
Even with all the
skills I can teach you, you will
never EVER do away with ugly thinking.
With practice, you can get better at shifting where possible. And, where that’s not possible, carry it with you.
With the year-end coming up, our calendars are filled with year-end tasks and planning for next year. When I was a partner at a law firm, this time of year brought with it not only business planning and budgeting for my practice group but also planning and budgeting for me personally. This was the time of year that everyone started whispering and hosting hushed conversations behind closed doors. The topic?
Compensation.
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