This article explores the concept of people pleasing, its signs, reasons behind it, and how it can negatively impact your life. It also provides insights on how to overcome this behavior and prioritize your own needs.
Perfectionist Tendencies
Many of my clients embrace perfectionism in one way or another. Outwardly, they appear successful and confident but their inner dialogues are filled with self-judgments and whole host of “shoulds” — things they should have done better, perfectly. As we unpack those patterns of negative self-talk and begin redirecting our brains to more worthy thoughts, it opens up yet another opportunity for self-judgment. How can we leverage failures to overcome our perfectionist tendencies?
Insecurity Delays
In a profession where the only feedback you typically get is negative feedback, how do you keep those experiences from making you paranoid?
Productivity and Perfectionism
Many of my clients describe themselves as perfectionists. They don’t want to do something unless and until it can be done properly. While that sentiment sounds noble and worthy, its impact on our lives is much more nefarious.
The Mistake Spiral
The most common thing I see among associate attorneys is the fear of making mistakes.
As attorneys, we can become so paranoid about making a mistake that we put a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves. Our minds are filled with nonstop nasty chatter that sometimes sends us down a mistake spiral.
How to dig out.
Perfectionism
Perfectionism is a way to stay stuck. To convince yourself that your efforts are noble. You simply want to do it right and you can’t move forward until you do that. It seems valid. It seems reasonable. But this is simply fear masquerading in a more “honorable” outfit. The fear of failure, dressed as perfectionism.
The Standards We Keep
With New Year’s Eve and new resolutions fast approaching, I have been thinking a lot about the challenges that often accompany new year’s resolutions. We can be our best advocate or our worst enemy. For many of my clients, they unwittingly choose to break themselves down instead of building themselves up. We place all sorts of expectations on ourselves and keep “manuals” on how we are supposed to go through this life but we don’t confront those manuals.
Too often we subscribe to the notion that there is a right way to “do life.”
Jealousy
Jealousy is such an unpleasant emotion. It communicates to us that we are losing at this game of life. That someone is getting something better than we are getting. That the hand we were dealt is less than. It’s not fair. How can we stop feeling jealous?
Fairy Tales and Happy Endings
Recently, I had a client ask me: Have you ever had a client that achieves all their goals and is just living the dream and happy?
She wanted me to say
Yes! I have made her life a dream. I can solve
ALL of your problems too, I promise. I can make you happy. I can make your life
happy.
But that wasn’t the truth. There is no happy ending. There is no happily ever after.
