This article explores the concept of people pleasing, its signs, reasons behind it, and how it can negatively impact your life. It also provides insights on how to overcome this behavior and prioritize your own needs.
Overloaded and Angry
As a coach and practicing attorney, I am no stranger to being annoyed by other humans. Recently, I found myself dreading a particular meeting that was planted right in the middle of my afternoon. Through a series of events, I learned to appreciate small irritations and approach them in a way that not only gave me peace but freedom and a greater understanding of myself.
Saying “No”
Logically, most of us know that we should be saying “no” far more than we are. Most us want more time, more balance, and more space. We know that saying “no” is an obvious step in the direction of those goals. But why is saying “no” so hard and so painful? What is it about setting that boundary that makes us cringe?
Finding Your Voice
As attorneys, we are hired to advocate and be the knowledge voices of our clients–why do we struggle to advocate for ourselves?
Being Authentic
When I was in private practice, I had a client that called me all the time. Constantly. How I showed up in the relationship changed everything about how I set boundaries in my relationships, personally and professionally.
Boundaries
Most of the attorneys that I work with do not believe that it is possible for them to create happiness within their current environment. They come to me unhappy and overworked. They believe that the only way things are going to get better is if the firm finally changes. Or if they leave. Part of the work that I do with my clients is helping them to start setting boundaries and flexing their “no” muscle. Today we explore why this so hard and why we MUST change.
Don’t Throw in the Towel
During our lives, many of get to a place where we just want to burn it all down and start over. We want out. We retreat. We want to start over and have it be better the next time around. We don’t want to do it any more. We just want to start again. Does starting over make sense for you?
“Yes” Women
Finding yourself overworked and overwhelmed? Saying “yes” when you want to scream “no”? Why do we do this to ourselves and how do we stop the madness?!
Over-Apologizers Anonymous
Over apologizing is often the easy route. It’s easier to take on all the blame than it is to stand up for yourself. It’s easier to believe that it was all your fault than to examine the things you did right. This victim mentality is pervasive and can seep into all aspects of your life if left unchecked.
So why do we over apologize?
I “Should” Help, I’m an Attorney
So many of my clients back themselves into a corner, agreeing to do things that they don’t REALLY want to do, things that they shouldn’t do, things that ask them to color outside the lines. They agree to do it because they feel like they “should” help as much as they can. But then as they settle into the work, they are fuming. All because of this word “should.”
