When I was in private practice, I had a client that called me all the time. Constantly. How I showed up in the relationship changed everything about how I set boundaries in my relationships, personally and professionally.
Boundaries
Most of the attorneys that I work with do not believe that it is possible for them to create happiness within their current environment. They come to me unhappy and overworked. They believe that the only way things are going to get better is if the firm finally changes. Or if they leave. Part of the work that I do with my clients is helping them to start setting boundaries and flexing their “no” muscle. Today we explore why this so hard and why we MUST change.
Are You Living in Fight or Flight?
For many of us, when we are practicing and things get hairy, we unknowingly slip into survival mode and our days are spent living in fight or flight. We lose touch with our rational thinking and have a hard time seeing the forest for the trees. We are convinced that there are no solutions available to us and we just want to keep our heads above water. How to dig out of overwhelm and make better choices.
Perfectionist Tendencies
Many of my clients embrace perfectionism in one way or another. Outwardly, they appear successful and confident but their inner dialogues are filled with self-judgments and whole host of “shoulds” — things they should have done better, perfectly. As we unpack those patterns of negative self-talk and begin redirecting our brains to more worthy thoughts, it opens up yet another opportunity for self-judgment. How can we leverage failures to overcome our perfectionist tendencies?
Refocusing During Chaos
As the demands of the day press down upon us with such herculean force, it can be difficult to maintain composure and prevent the overwhelm meltdown. Today, I share a story about how I leveraged my calendar and my priorities to stop the overwhelm meltdown.
The Art of Delegation
It is not sustainable for us to “do it all.” We must become skilled at the art of delegation and letting in support if we want to have a meaningful place in the professional world. Open yourself up to delegation by challenging “your way” of doing things by examining a few reasons why delegation might be the secret ingredient for success.
Difficult Choices
In every moment, of every day, we are making decisions. We decide where to direct our attention, we decide when (if) we should take a break, we decide whether to answer phone calls or respond to emails. Most of us make those decisions automatically, without much thought. But what about the decisions that really FEEL like decisions? The types of decisions that keep you up at night with anxiety or rob your afternoon of several hours spent fretting over the options. When it comes to big decisions, what is the best approach?
Putting Out Fires
When you find yourself in that panicked mode of productivity and you are running around putting out fires, everything can feel like an emergency. Why living in this kind of fight or flight will only lead to disaster and how to snap out of it.
Don’t Throw in the Towel
During our lives, many of get to a place where we just want to burn it all down and start over. We want out. We retreat. We want to start over and have it be better the next time around. We don’t want to do it any more. We just want to start again. Does starting over make sense for you?
When Your Boss is a . . .
As many of my clients and myself have concluded: just because we are attorneys does not mean that we are good bosses, leaders, managers, or mentors. So what do you do when you find yourself working with a boss (or any human for that matter) who is less of a leader and mostly just a jerk?