Life & Career Coaching for Lawyers
Life & Career Coaching for Lawyers
Do you ever feel confused about why you are not happier in your life?
You have a job that pays the bills. You have a home. You are healthy. You have family and friends who care about you.
Despite seemingly having all the ingredients to live a satisfied life, you just can’t seem to find happiness.
It always feels like something is missing or you catch yourself constantly wondering is this it?
We are always able to come up with reasons – several reasons – why we aren’t taking a certain course of action. We are masterful at crafting excuses that we sincerely believe are legitimate. We are so good at letting ourselves off the hook!
Are goals important? Should I have some goal I am working toward?
My conclusion was an emphatic Yes, we all need something we are striving toward. Here’s why.
Recently, I had a client ask me: Have you ever had a client that achieves all their goals and is just living the dream and happy?
She wanted me to say
Yes! I have made her life a dream. I can solve
ALL of your problems too, I promise. I can make you happy. I can make your life
happy.
But that wasn’t the truth. There is no happy ending. There is no happily ever after.
Lately, I have been spending a lot of time focusing on the notion that life is supposed to be rough, 50% of the time. It brings to my mind the ancient Yin Yang symbol. The Yin Yang can be interpreted, literally to mean “shady side” and “sunny side” and stands for the idea that two opposite dualities create the balanced whole.
What does this mean in our modern lives?
My most recent epiphany? I am a judge-y biach. And listen, I am not saying this for self-deprecating purposes or to publicly shame myself. I am simply stating my mind’s natural tendency, as I have observed it. If left to its own devices, my brain will run off with all sorts of judgmental criticisms of those around me. I am not a bad person and I genuinely believe in the good of other people; however, regardless of my values, my brain tends toward a cycle of mental abuse of not only others but myself.
Here’s what our judgments are really trying to tell us.
If I had a magic wand and told you that I could give you the career of your dreams, would you be interested? What if I told you I would give it to you only if you first promised to fail 10 times trying to do it on your own? Big fails. EPIC fails. All I ask of you is that you try to figure it out on your own 10 times, and fail 10 times. After those 10 tries, it’s yours. Fail ten times and I will waive my magic wand and I will make it so. Would you do that?
Do you want to be happier in your life? Do you want to find your purpose?
We all do. Let’s be honest, no one has ever declined the possibility for more happiness. The problem is that most of the people I work with are looking for something to make themselves happier, something to bring “purpose” to their life. Usually this search is tied to something concrete and measurable…a job or relationship that will finally make them happy.
Here’s the truth: your reptilian brain is stuck in a ‘thought routine.’ It is telling you, and you are believing, all sorts of things that aren’t true. And it is all happening without your awareness.