This article explores the concept of people pleasing, its signs, reasons behind it, and how it can negatively impact your life. It also provides insights on how to overcome this behavior and prioritize your own needs.
When Others Judge Us
I’ve been thinking a lot about decisions. Big ones. The kinds that open you up to all sorts of criticisms. These big decisions have one huge hurdle in common: they bring us face to face with others’ judgements.
But are they really others’ judgement or are they coming from somewhere closer to home?
Ending Relationships
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about this notion of cutting people out of our lives. It’s not difficult to find books and self-help gurus who champion this notion of decisively cutting people out of your life–removing chronically negative and toxic people from your orbit. I’ve been struggling to reconcile this idea with my belief in compassion. Where is the line between self-protection and compassion in our relationships?
People Pleasing
People pleasing tendencies. We’ve all got them. It may seem like simple Midwest Nice but at it’s core, people-pleasing is rooted in deception. When we put the needs and feelings of others before our own, we relegate our truth. We relegate our voices and we implicitly acknowledge that we are less important that those we are desperately trying to please.
Finding Your Voice
As attorneys, we are hired to advocate and be the knowledge voices of our clients–why do we struggle to advocate for ourselves?
Being Authentic
When I was in private practice, I had a client that called me all the time. Constantly. How I showed up in the relationship changed everything about how I set boundaries in my relationships, personally and professionally.
Painful Honesty
Today, the behavior of a small child on a school bus completely rocked my world. She has inspired me to find my voice and set in motion the ripple effects of painful honesty.
Snap Out of It
In the complicated world of practicing law, many of my clients are playing a role in what Stephen Karpman calls the “drama triangle.” I often see my clients vacillating between the victim role and the rescuer. How to move out of drama and into empowerment.
