But it’s not just about the clients. The same thing holds true for my relationship with fellow attorneys and bosses.

Rules for playing well with other lawyers and co-workers:

Be someone that others can count on.

If you make a promise to someone else, keep it. If you say you can help on a project—show up and be committed. This also goes for promises that you make to yourself. Honoring your word not only shows others that they are important to you, but it demonstrates your values—you value others’ time and you value your word.

Be honest about mistakes.

If you forget about a deadline or forget to confirm that a case remains “good law,” own it. Be honest about it and don’t make excuses. You are human. You are not a robot. Owning your mistakes demonstrates humility and honesty. People trust others who are honest and willing to make mistakes and own them. People are also much more forgiving if they don’t suspect they are being lied to.

Take confidentiality seriously.

We are lawyers, after all, and part of the gig is keeping secrets. Why is it so hard to apply that to your co-workers and relationships? If someone is confiding in you, it means that they see you as a trustworthy person. Why would you then go and erode that trust by splashing their secrets all over the firm? Do not get a reputation for being the office gossip. Build a reputation of being a person that others can trust.

Stop judging.

Law firms can be incredibly competitive but keep in mind that your day will come when others will have an opportunity to judge you too. Be accepting of others and approach them from a place of compassion and curiosity. Believe me, there are people out there who are confused by you too. Don’t be a jerk; you are all in this together. You are part of a firm, not a solo practice. Build each other up instead of breaking each other down.

Do not exaggerate.

This applies to both your skill sets and your billable hours. Everybody knows who pads the bills and everyone knows who is always pretending to be an expert in everything. If you claim to be an expert in something or claim to have invested significant time on a project, people will count on you to be that expert. One exaggeration can ruin your reputation with an important partner or client. People come in and out of law firms all the time and no one is going to hire you if you have a reputation for padding your hours or mis-stating your skill set.

If you can employ these rules, I promise you, your personal and professional life will flourish.

I’ve seen secretaries become vice presidents at Fortune 500 companies and I’ve seen slacker associates become innovative rainmakers. Never sell someone short or classify them as not worthy of your relationship-building efforts. You never know who will be in a position to support your practice in the future. Your relationship and interactions with others have ripple effects.

“Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

Besides, is it really so terrible to just show up and try to be a good human to everyone you encounter? If you are successful at that 50% of the time, people will be much more accepting of you when you are failing to be a good human.

It’s never too early to start building your network and your practice. Let me support you in building a powerful and rewarding legal practice. What do you have to lose?

“There are two types of pains – one that hurts you and one that changes you.”

Jealousy is such an unpleasant emotion. It communicates to us that we are losing at this game of life. That someone is getting something better than we are getting. That the hand we were dealt is less than. It’s not fair.

All of those thoughts that drive the feeling of jealousy set us on a path of bitterness and anger. The actions that result from those types feelings serve only to confirm that we are, in fact, lacking in some way.

When you think I wish I had their life, why can’t I have their luck, why don’t those things ever happen to me, we lash out at the people around us, we show up to our jobs and relationships disappointed and wanting them to be different. We disconnect, we do the bare minimum, we don’t take actions that would generate success or create the life we wish we had and think we deserve. The net result is that we create a life that is not what we would like it to be. Simply by carrying those thoughts around, we set ourselves up to fail. We create a life that is less than.

The actions that will create the life we want, the type of life we are JEALOUS of, will not be created from a place of anger, jealousy, and bitterness about your current state. You must shift away from thoughts of jealousy if you truly want to create the life of your dreams.

Instead of looking to the lives of others and being jealous about their accomplishments or possessions, why not look to others as sources of inspiration. If they can do it, I can do it. I could do something like that. I am lucky to have someone like that in my life to inspire me and who can provide me with support to achieve the same thing. From those thoughts, we can generate feelings of hope, motivation and excitement about our future. From that space, we can create anything we want.

The people we encounter in our lives are there for a reason. Rather than seeing people as “more fortunate” that we are, consider what they are in your life to teach you. Maybe they are there to be an example of what’s possible. If so, you are missing a great opportunity and a potential teacher by choosing jealousy.

Clean up your thoughts. Stop being a victim of luck. Get inspired by others and stop indulging in jealousy—it is only delaying the creation of your dream.

Are you ready to take your life to the next level? Work with me and let’s create the life you have been dreaming about.

One of the most challenging things I bump into as a coach are clients who vehemently subscribe to beliefs about what is normal and what is not normal. They have so many strong beliefs about how things are supposed to be—whether it’s their partners, their jobs, or their homes.

Spouses are supposed to be responsible with their finances.

It’s normal to want a bigger house.

It’s normal to want to get married and have kids.

So who says what’s normal? More importantly, why do we care?

In thinking through this question, I went down the black hole that is The Google. It doesn’t take much digging to find all sorts of odd practices that were once considered “normal” that would now be considered bizarre or even illegal!

Have you ever caught yourself saying:

It’s weird that she doesn’t wear makeup.

It’s normal to want to make more money.

I make good money so I should drive a nicer car.

It’s normal to buy an expensive purse if I want to.

It’s normal to buy Starbucks every day.

It’s weird to ride your bike to work.

It’s weird when a woman doesn’t want to get married or have kids.

It’s normal to want a fancy engagement ring.

Have you ever asked yourself whether those thoughts are true?

One of the biggest challenges I see young attorneys face is how to handle their money once they land that first big job. So often I see them go out and buy an expensive car, huge house, or new wardrobe. Why? Because that was normal. That’s what you do when you get your first big job.

BUT WHY?!

Not only do we have these thoughts we aren’t questioning but we then go on to tell ourselves that it is “normal” so that we don’t need to question them. This is such a brain gimmick! There is no such thing as normal! You should always question your thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Why? So that you can like your reasons for the things you think, say, or do—so you can show up as an authentic human and not a robot!

Why does it matter that others think we are successful? Why does it matter that your purse cost $1,000? Why are those things important to you? Do you like your reasons?

People can spend their money however they choose but if people are not examining the underlying reasons for their spending, they are sleeping with the enemy. Shopping and spending money can be a buffer in the same way that overeating and overdrinking are. People splurge on things because they are looking for that momentary happiness—that endorphin rush that they get. They are spending money to try and make themselves feel better.

Feel better from what?

That is the true work. What feelings and thoughts are they trying to bury? When we tell ourselves that these types of activities are “normal” we are rationalizing our actions and trying to legitimize the buffer. We all know that once that high wears off from that splurge, you end up right back in the same place you started with those feelings you were trying to avoid. If you don’t confront those thoughts and feelings head-on, you will get really good at buffering and really terrible at emotional adulthood.

So, I ask you:

What are you doing in your life because you consider it “normal”?

Do you like your reasons?

As a coach I support my clients to uncover the hidden thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions that are preventing them from achieving their best life. We confront those feelings and discard the buffers and get to work on the real issues underneath it all. Give it a try, I’d be delighted to see what we can accomplish together!